Category: Relationships

Covidating: The Shutdown

I was so embarrassed and I just wanted my bed to swallow me up. I wondered why he would give me his number, but still act like he didn’t know who I was. Was this just to see if he could get me? So childish, I thought. I ignored the text message and dozed off.

The next morning I woke up & saw another text message asking if I was the girl from earlier in the day at the store. I refused to respond. Then a few hours later, I got another text message stating that his colleague had told him about me and was interested in getting to know me. So basically, the number I had was not for the guy I chatted with, but for his colleague. And I thought this whole time, he had purposely put his number in the bag for me. I’m still not sure how the card got into my plastic bag though.

Anyway, I was humbled.

We started talking. But we never found the right time to meet up until about 3 weeks ago when we had planned an outing for the weekend. We were supposed to go axe-throwing. And then rona (Coronavirus, of course) dropped by and our city got locked down. We’ve been stuck Face-timing since then.

Well, until the day at the grocery store. So now you know why I had to dress up just to go to the grocery store.

He’s been super sweet this whole time. He’s sent me food and we’ve had a Face-time dinner, amongst other things. But I’m not sure if I can fall in love with him. He’s just a little………. Oh, he’s here.

Him: “You look beautiful Lola, can I get a hug?”.

Me: Thank you, but not until you let me know why you’re late, I said.

Him: “It’s a really long story. Are you sure you want to know? But first, let me apologize. I’m really sorry for being late”.

Me: Yes, of course, I need to know as your reason may be a good reason to keep this going or end things, I said. “

Him: Alright then. So although I work downtown, I currently live in a neighbouring town and there’s only one long windy road that could get me here. There was a paranoid driver on the street who kept spraying disinfectant liquid on the road before every few moves, through his/her sunroof and refused to pull over to let others pass. It was quite frustrating, but it’s a consequence of the current state of the world. It doesn’t make sense to me though.

Me: I understand now. I would have appreciated a call though.

Him: I know. I just thought if I told you, you would not meet up anymore.

“You can go in now but you need to sanitize your hands and keep shut while inside”, the store associate said.

About 45 minutes later, we got out with full hands and were finally able to speak while he walked me to my car. It was quite an awkward date, but somewhat interesting regardless of us being forcibly mute. We loaded the trunk and then he asked if we could meet up again, perhaps for another grocery store run.

I said no & I still refused to give him a hug. And it had nothing to do with the virus.

Story Continuation: Part 1

Story Continuation: Part 3

Covidating: Who Is This?

As I pulled into the grocery store parking lot, I was so shocked to see people lined up all the way around the building. It reminded me of some line-ups outside night clubs. I had never seen anything like this before in such a setting. I like parking close to the store exit and I was lucky enough to find a good spot. I got excited. But that didn’t last long.

I opened the car door and then my left foot hit the ground. It was in this very moment I remembered that I wore heels. Why did I wear heels to a grocery store, you ask? Well, today was the day I finally got to spend some time with the man I’d been ‘talking to’ for a while, so I couldn’t help but dress up. Coupled with the fact that I’d been stuck home for the past 2 weeks, I thought I’d treat myself to a little dress up outing. Those heels aren’t going to wear themselves!!

Anyway, I walked up to the line and stood at the designated spot behind the last person. Then I saw someone else coming over to stand behind me. And I decided to step off the line as I was supposed to meet this man here today. I thought to myself that if I stood in line I won’t be able to stay close to him when he got to the grocery store so I decided to wait for him before lining up. Why is he late though? Rude? He better have a good explanation. So, while I wait for him, why don’t I tell you how we met, or started talking I guess?

Sometime in January of this year, I went into a local tech store to get new headphones. An associate walked up to me and offered to assist. We struck up a pretty effortless conversation. When I had picked out the perfect new headphones, I proceeded to pay. He helped with this. And then asked for my number. But I said NO. I can’t date a tech store associate, I thought. I mean, I’m above that. I got home about an hour later, after picking up a large 4-topping pizza.

I proceeded to change into my running clothes. Ironic right? I know, but it’s my life. Anyway, when I went to fetch my headphones for my run, I noticed a business card in the bag. I pulled it out and noticed a phone number on the back of it. I took a not-so-wild guess at whose it was. I put it aside and went for my run.

When I got back, I freshened up, ate, then laid in bed staring at it. I eventually decided to send a “hey” message to the phone number on it. Immediately I clicked the “send” button I freaked out and felt like I had lost my dignity. I mean I just shunned him in-person today, so why did I do this now?

After a long series of negative thoughts inspired by my simple text message, I decided to toss my phone aside and watch a movie. Mid-way through the movie my phone buzzed and I froze. I eventually decided to pick it up to see what it was. It happened to be a message from this number. I opened it up and it read “Who is this?”.

Story Continuation: Part 2

Story Continuation: Part 3

Unearthing The Unforgotten

Growing up my parents always told myself and my twin brother about their lives at university. You could hear the excitement in their voices when they spoke about their experiences; the best of which was the day they met each other. But that’s a story for another day. They had a tough time having children so when we came into the world, they made it a priority to spend quality time with us. I am forever grateful to them for their love and care.

As a result of their numerous stories, I decided I would go to their university as well. I remember my first days there. I was so naive. But with some good friends and time, I adjusted to the system and things went pretty well afterwards. I believe it was after my second class at the university that the professor called me to discuss something privately in his office. At first, I was a little worried because I was wondering if I was too forward during the lecture. But when I got to his office, he assured me that all was well. He then asked me my name and I when I told him he said “I knew it, you look just like him”. Before I got a chance to ask what he was referring to, he mentioned my dad’s name and asked if I was his son. I said yes. He explained that they went to school together and had since lost touch. I also remember him stating that my dad was a “G” and laughing so loudly. He asked me to reconnect them and I did after a conversation with my dad.

I believe it was a few weeks later when I bumped into a Dean while I was heading out to lunch with my friends. She said I looked familiar and asked for my name. When I told her she asked me to repeat my last name. I did and with some reluctance she asked to confirm my dad’s name and when I told her she screamed with a little bit of disappointment on her face. I was confused, but when I asked if everything was ok she shut me down and wandered off. Later that day I remember calling my dad to explain both occurrences to him and he just brushed them off and asked me about my friends and when I’d be coming home next.

But some weeks later, I had another similar experience. Being that this occurred again, I felt like there was more to this story. So when I got home after the school year ended, I spoke to my dad about all 3 experiences and he explained that there are somethings that are better left unsaid. He said “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” and I should assume that his past is Vegas. I think I had only one other situation like these after the talk with my dad. But at that point, I didn’t care anymore. Few years later, I graduated and within the next two years I was done with my NYSC (National Youth Service Corps: a mandatory program for graduates in Nigeria).

Within 6 months, I got a good job with a global technology company in Lagos, Nigeria. About 9 years later, I was promoted to “Head of Partnerships” role. It was an exciting time for myself and my family. To celebrate, my boss scheduled lunch for the people in my department for the following day. She made a reservation at a restaurant in Ikoyi’s brand new hotel, which is allegedly the most expensive hotel. I decided to leave earlier than usual that day to get my hair cut and buy a new outfit for the celebration. My boss approved this.

When we arrived at the hotel the next day, we had a waiter take us to our VIP dining room. It was so beautifully decorated. I’ve never seen anything better anywhere in the world. Shortly after we sat down, we had another staff who came by and spoke to my boss briefly. They happen to be friends. She then introduced herself to us as the owner of the hotel.

After the first course, I needed to use the restroom. On my way there, I saw the owner and greeted her quickly and continued to the restroom. On my way back, she looked at me again and then asked me to come over. I went over and she asked me for my name. And like my previous experiences, when I told her she asked me for my dad’s name. And when I told her that she screamed and bowed her head. In just a few seconds, she was sobbing. As I moved to comfort her, she told me she was ok and I shouldn’t worry. I was confused so I asked her what was going on and it was in these next few minutes that I understood the experiences I had in my first few months at university.

She explained that my dad was a “wild one”. He was known across campus as the most notorious player. He impregnated a lot of girls and had them get abortions. She was one of those girls he impregnated at the time. But unlike the rest of them, she refused to get an abortion and was forced to drop out of school as her parents disowned her. She ended up opening a canteen which she used to take care of her child and herself and has since grown her business into this huge hotel.

She said she harboured so much unforgiveness in her heart towards my dad until her daughter’s 15th birthday. She said so much more but I would rather not write it all. I consoled her anyway and then asked about her daughter’s whereabouts and if she’d like to reconnect with my dad.

It’s been a week now since this incident. My dad is not ready to meet her. But my mum has met her and her daughter. I hope for a future when we can all be at peace.

“Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.” – Thomas Mann.